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The fear and the sadness June 24, 2007

Posted by thebigswede in Uncategorized.

I woke up this morning with the familiar pitter-patter of raindrops. Familiar because I come from Seattle. Horrible because it is supposed to be summer. Uppsala is crying. Bitter tears of a year gone by, of a million memories and of the end that awaits. Saying goodbye to good friends is akin to plunging a flaming dagger into your heart. It ranks among my least favorite things in life. Uppsala has become a veritable ghost town; it is not itself and neither am I. The laughter is gone, the bikes have disappeared, the annoying music playing a few doors down has vanished with its occupant. The life has died. I’ll never forget the excitement and promise that awaited when I arrived shortly one year ago. I will never forget the equally harrowing sadness that now comes with departing. With every item I pack in my bags there is a memory; call me a sentimentalist if you like. You think about what was, what is and what could have been. I’m not one to dwell on the past or meditate on regrets but at the same time I am inextricably filled with a sense of fear and sadness. Will anyone this past year remember me? What will life be like upon returning home? What is the meaning of it all anyway?

Right now I don’t feel like writing rosy remembrances of Gotland or Tallinn. Today is not that day. Today is a day to reflect, to pack, to make plans and drink good coffee. Tomorrow may find me in different spirits, and if thats the case you can expect part II of Gotland and Tallinn shortly thereafter.



1. Melinda Larson - June 29, 2007

Hej My Buddy!!

Always love to read of your amazing adventures!
Thanks for being the ultimate tour guide. Daddy and I often talk of what a great time we had with you and how much we learned about Sweden and it’s history. We are thankful for the time you’ve had to live there and are now feeling anxious for your return to Seattle. We have missed you!! Love and Hugs, Mom

2. J.Skaff - June 29, 2007

ya michele,

just got your post-card from tallin – very kind of you. i very much appreciate your thoughtfullness throughtout your time in sweden. i look forward to catching up in person. hope you have a safe travel home. see you soon.

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